How do you do?

That's how an ang moh starts a conversation. And lately with the increased number of conference calls to my ang moh counterpart offices, I'm wondering what's the correct way of replying in a) USA, b) UK and c) Australia?

I tried replying in all sorts of ways and I still can't find one that I don't feel awkward about. Like:
a)"How do you do." back the person (Don't laugh and note the punctuation. I read somewhere that actually I can HDYD back the person and at least 3 friends have concurred this, though we are all still quite unsure about this..haha!),

b)"Fine! Thank you, what about you?" (this usually leads to more small talk... sianz),

c)"Yeah, fine. Thank you." (this is different from the previous, there is connotation that I want go straight to my purpose of the conversation)

d)"Great. Shall we talk about ..." (this usually makes me feel I'm the unfriendly Asian workaholic who just wanna talk about nothing else but work...)

e) "Dooo~ do do, do do, do do, do do..." (in a melodious way just like humming a song and tapping my fingertips along)


heheheh, the last one is my own fantasy. wohohohohohohoho.. have yet to test it out.

I really wanna brush up my small talk skills so that I can fi-lee fare-leh non-stop until no one dares to ever start any small talk with me.

Say this out loud:

How do you do (high-pitched "do")? How do you do (low-pitched "do")? How do you do (high-pitched "do")? How do you do (low-pitched "do")? Doooo~ do-do, do-do, do-do, do-do~~~

Wohohohohohohohoho...