Happy.

I’ve got a friend whom I used to work together in the same firm recently asked me if I was contented with maintaining the level of pay I’m receiving at the moment. I told her yes..I mean I’m ok with it at least for the next couple of years as long as there’s a distinguishable annual increment to fight inflation and recognize my efforts. Not that I’m currently earning big bucks or that I have anything against money. Don’t be mistaken. I lurvvvvee marnee just as much as anyone can love it ($$$$$). Just that after working long shitty hours for 3 years in my first job, I thought I could give up a little bit of money for that little bit of time for myself, my family, my significant someone and my close friends.

For the past 3 years, I realize I don’t really have the time to pause and ponder over my life, my surroundings, my future and those around me. Every minute and second was fully utilized to rush to work, back home to rest and rush back to work again. I was so trained in successfully boarding the next coming train that I could see arriving in 2 minutes while still sprinting in my heels, carrying my barang barang, on the overhead bridge across the street where the train station is. In the train, I was always looking at my watch and counting the number of stops left before I’d reach my office as though an extra second late, I’d be dead. Everyday I became the Olympics record holder for brisk walking from the train station to the office. And all the time while I was in all this mad rush, my mind was only thinking of one thing - the urgent tasks (anyway, tell me which work related tasks are ever not urgent) I needed to complete for the day.

Even though I earned long vacations during the off-peak season, it was usually spent rushing for overseas holidays that were all crammed together. I hardly had the time to really rest well and often suffered from stress-induced panic attacks at nights (especially on Sunday nights). I totally had no chance to spend time properly for family and friends (I think I’m partly to blame too.. I mean why go on rushed holidays when I know I haven’t been spending time with families and friends?). The total time I spent at home minus the sleeping and bathing time probably adds up to be less than 2 days in a week??! Most of the time, I had to reject invitations to catch-up dinners and happening drinking sessions. And with so many rejections shot at my friends that some of them I suspect, think I’m a stuck-up queen and have sworn never ever to ask me out again. So in the end, I always ended up with the same clique of like-minded colleagues who don’t mind having dinner at 11 pm onwards as we were the only losers left in the office who genuinely believed in smses that read “ Sorry, I have to work late again. Another time perhaps?”

Fortunately, I’ve put an end to all these 3 months or so ago. I’ve quit my first job. Although the percentage of annual increment is unusually high as compared to those jobs that I know of, I think of the job as a hazard to both my social life and health. I’ve moved on to a slower paced job and haven’t regretted my decision since (even though I’ll be moving on to my third job next month… really, I haven’t regretted. Trust me). I like being one of the commuters who return home from work at the normal peak hours when there’s still daylight even though it means I’ve to be squeezed in between them in the train. I feel confident about living up to promises to turn up at dinner gatherings or social activities after work. I enjoy having the extra time to buy or borrow novels and finish reading them within days. I love being able to tell my mum what’s going on in my life while she’s cooking dinner for the family. And not to mention being able to check out the sales in town on weekdays! :)

Yes, no regrets. I think I’m happier, more relaxed and less oblivious to my surroundings…look, I even have time to sit in front of the computer typing this for future reference. :)
Happy, happy, happy... lalalalalala...